You’re a cuck, and it’s gravity’s fault.

Did you ever wonder why The Moon doesn’t just fuck off and find a new planet to hang with? I mean Venus has acid rain, which is metal as fuck, and Jupiter's got a storm that’s being raging for millions of years, that’s pretty gnarly. All Earth has is a bunch of ungrateful monkeys who don’t even say thanks for all the work The Moon does with the tides and seasons and shit, fuck that. So why not go on a bender with Jupiter, or a concert with Venus? Well unfortunately for the Moon, it can’t because it’s trapped here, by gravity.

So what’s gravity you ask? Well it’s this lame ass force (About one billion billion billion billion times weaker than magnets, the coolest force [sunglasses emoji]) created by some British geezer using apples. More specifically it acts like an invisible set of strings which pulls everything in the universe towards everything else in the universe. The bigger something is, the more pull it has, and the closer two things are, the harder they can pull on on each other. Now Earth, that’s pretty fucking big, and The Moon, also pretty gosh darn large, and the two of them, frickin’ close together. So Earth pulls on the moon and traps it nearby, stopping it from running off to party with the other planets. In fact Earth exerts such force over The Moon that it’s forced to spin at the same rate it goes around Earth. This means only one side of The Moon ever faces Earth, the good side.

In the same way The Moon is trapped to Earth, Earth is bound to The Sun, and The Sun is bound to its host galaxy, The Milky Way, so named because is looks “milky” in the night sky (don’t worry the names get worse). The Milky Way is in turn bound to The Local Group, which is the official name for the group of galaxies which seem to be bound together in the location surrounding the Milky Way (Top work on that one cunts, super imaginative.). The Local Group, is just a part of the Virgo Supercluster. A galaxy Supercluster is a bunch of galaxy groups which gravity forces to hang out together, the Virgo cluster was first discovered by a Virgo on his birthday, hence the name. And finally the Virgo Supercluster is merely an arm of the even larger collection of galaxy clusters, also bound together by gravity, called the Laniakea Supercluster (Laniakea is Hawaiian for immense heavens, and the cluster was discovered in Hawaii, making this the best name out of a bad bunch). And so you see, we’re all being cucked by somebody, and gravity is merely the rope the universe uses to bind you to your master.

#moon #astronomy #sicence #galaxies #cucks #gravity